UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONS
I used to be one of those people who believed that emotions were nothing but irrational, pointless distractions that messed with our ability to think clearly. It's funny to think back on it now. I even had this notion that emotions were mainly reserved for women, and us men were supposed to be these emotionless robots (I know toxic masculinity blah blah blah). Look, I’m acknowledging I was wrong. It’s fine for men to have emotions too.
Now let me take you back to the moment when everything changed for me. It was actually a woman who dared to challenge my beliefs and convinced me to embark on 1 month-long meditation journey. This simple act would turn into an 18-month practice that would change my biased views about emotions.
Every day, for ten minutes, I sat down to observe my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I felt sadness. Sometimes I felt joy. Other times anxiety or numbness. What I felt seemed so random. It made me question why I was experiencing such a range of emotions in the first place.
So, I dived deeper into the world of emotions and what I discovered was interesting. We humans have six basic emotions: surprise, disgust, fear, happiness, sadness, and anger. These emotions are what all the other secondary emotions stem from. You know like pride, guilt, shame, anxiety, regret, hope, resentment. All of our emotions, it turns out, play a crucial role in guiding our behaviour. Instinctively kicking in when we need to take swift action. It's like a built-in survival mechanism that's deeply rooted in our evolution and adaptation.
Think about it. When we encounter something unexpected, our eyebrows shoot up in surprise so we can take in more or what we’re seeing. When we come across something repulsive, our faces twist in disgust. When we feel threatened, fear courses through our veins, priming us to fight or take flight.
It turns out that emotions aren’t totally the enemy of reason. They're an important part of our hardwiring for survival. They can guide us, inform our decisions, and connect us with our humanity if we interpret and process them in constructive ways. However, be warned, if they aren’t processed in helpful ways, they will make you weak and emotionally unstable.
Emotions are the same as energy. They can’t be avoided or suppressed because they will find their way to the surface. All we can do is process and channel them into constructive actions that fuel our growth.
BASIC EMOTIONS EXPLAINED
As mentioned previously emotions are like our personal energy sources, fuelling our thoughts and actions. They can't be ignored or pushed aside—they need to be acknowledged and processed. I’m going to expand on these powerful forces so you can learn how to channel them into constructive endeavours.
Sadness
Sadness is a powerful emotion that we've all experienced at some point in our lives.
On a physical level, sadness triggers a cascade of reactions in our body. When we're feeling down, our brain releases neurotransmitters (brain chemicals) like serotonin and norepinephrine, which play a crucial role in regulating our mood. Sadness can make us shed tears, slow down our heart rate, and drain our energy, leaving us feeling tired and sluggish. It's like our bodies are going into a low-energy mode.
But why would evolution wire us to feel sadness? Well, sadness actually serves a purpose. It's an adaptive response that has helped our ancestors survive and thrive throughout human history.
When we experience loss, disappointment, or failure, sadness kicks in. It's nature's way of telling us that something is not right and needs our attention. It's like an internal alarm system, urging us to pause, reflect, and make necessary changes in our lives. It's a chance for some serious introspection and problem-solving.
From an evolutionary standpoint, sadness has a social function as well. When we're feeling down, it often prompts us to seek support from others. This is because humans are social creatures, and during tough times, we benefit from the comfort, empathy, and connection that comes from sharing our emotions with loved ones. It's like a secret signal that says, "Yo, I need some love right now."
But here's the thing, while sadness is a natural and necessary part of the human experience, it's crucial that we don't get stuck in it. We must learn to navigate through sadness, process our emotions, and take proactive steps towards a more beneficial state of mind.
Just like in the gym, where we stress our body with challenges and force our muscles to overcome them by getting bigger and stronger, the same principle applies to our emotional fitness. Sadness is a catalyst for personal development. It’s a form of stress that we overcome through self-reflection and by developing resilience.
Bonus: Check out our Mental health guide HERE for more on this.
Surprise
So, picture this: You're going about your day, minding your own business, when suddenly something unexpected happens. Maybe it's a surprise party, a jump scare in a horror movie, or even a sudden twist in a gripping story. In that moment, your body goes through a interesting physical reaction that's deeply rooted in our evolutionary adaptation.
You see, surprise triggers a cascade of reactions in our bodies, starting with the activation of our sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the fight-or-flight response. It's like our body's built-in alarm system, designed to keep us safe in the face of potential threats.
As soon as we experience surprise, our heart rate shoots up, our blood vessels constrict, and our muscles tense up. This is our body preparing for action, getting us ready to either fight off the threat or run away from it. It's an automatic response that happens without us consciously thinking about it.
Why do we have this reaction? Picture our cave-dwelling ancestors going about their daily routine when suddenly a predator appears out of nowhere. In that split second, they needed to be on high alert and ready to respond with lightning speed. That's where the surprise reaction kicks in, giving us that extra boost of energy and focus when we need it most.
Even in our modern lives, this physical response to surprise still serves a purpose. While we may not encounter life-threatening situations on a daily basis, surprises can still be challenging. They shake us out of our comfort zones, forcing us to adapt and respond quickly. By activating our fight-or-flight response, surprise helps us stay alert, focused, and ready to take action.
Now, let's bring this understanding of surprise and its biological reactions into our own lives. Recognise that surprises, whether positive or negative, are part of our human experience. Whether you’re finding money in an old jacket pocket or finding out that new mole on your hand is actually cancerous. Instead of being overwhelmed or fearful, we can embrace the physiological response as a sign that we're adaptable and capable of handling unexpected situations.
So, the next time you find yourself surprised, take a deep breath and tap into that surge of energy. Use it to your advantage, whether it's tackling a new challenge, embracing a spontaneous opportunity, or simply appreciating the thrill of the unknown that comes with novel experiences.
Fear
Now, fear is something we've all experienced at some point in our lives. It's that primal instinct that kicks in when we perceive a threat or danger.
Fear triggers a complex sequence of reactions in our bodies. It's like flipping a switch that sets off a chain of events. When our brain detects a potential threat, it sends signals to the amygdala (our fear centre). From there, it's a domino effect.
First, our heart rate spikes, pumping more oxygen-rich blood to our muscles. This prepares us for action, like fight or flight. Adrenaline and cortisol, the stress hormones, surge through our veins, sharpening our senses and boosting our energy levels. Our breathing quickens, allowing more oxygen to fuel our muscles. This is our body gearing up for action whether we’re fighting or flighting.
Why do we react this way? Back in the day, our ancestors had to deal with real dangers: predators, rival tribes, you name it. Fear was crucial for their survival. When faced with a life-threatening situation, their bodies needed to respond rapidly and effectively.
The physical changes we experience during fear are a result of thousands of years of evolution. Our bodies have fine-tuned themselves to give us the best chance of survival. It's an automatic response that kicks in without us even thinking about it.
However, in today's modern world, our fears have evolved too. While we may not be facing wild animals on a daily basis, we still encounter threats that trigger our fear response. It could be public speaking, taking risks, or even stepping outside of our comfort zone. Our bodies don't always differentiate between real physical dangers and superficial threats.
Remember that fear is a natural part of being human. It's not something to be ashamed of or run away from. Instead, we can harness that energy, that heightened state of alertness, and channel it into something productive.
“Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the making of action in spite of fear, the moving out against the resistance engendered by fear into the unknown and into the future.”
― M. Scott Peck
So, the next time you feel that surge of fear, remember that it's your body's way of preparing you. Take a deep breath, embrace the challenge, and tap into that primal strength within you. Face your fears head-on and let them propel you towards significance.
Bonus: Drawing on the practices of Stoic philosophy and the work of Seneca, one of my biggest teachers Tim Ferriss developed a technique to identify and test the logic of his fears. First described in The 4-Hour Workweek, Ferris noted that defining fear is the easiest way to conquer it, and that “What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.” Most importantly, we need to question, “What could I be missing out on if my fear holds me back?” - For his step by step process click on the link below- https://tim.blog/2017/05/15/fear-setting/
You can also download an excel worksheet for his fear setting process from the link below. It will ask for your email, which will sign you up to my newsletter but you can unsubscribe at any time if it’s of no value to you.
Disgust
So, picture this: You're walking in the woods, searching for some food, as you do, because all the supermarkets are closed in this specific set-up. Suddenly, you stumble upon a slimy, wriggling mass of insects crawling on decaying flesh of a big foot. Not the mythical beast but an actual giant foot. Your immediate reaction? Disgust! It's that feeling of nausea that sends shivers down your spine and makes you want to run in the opposite direction.
Why do we experience disgust? Back in the day, our ancestors had to navigate a dangerous world filled with potential threats. Disgust, my friends, is our body's way of protecting us from harmful substances and disease.
When we encounter something disgusting, a complex biological response kicks in. First, our facial muscles tense up, our noses wrinkle, and we might even gag or retch. These physical reactions are designed to create a physical barrier, minimising our exposure to potentially harmful substances.
But it doesn't stop there. Disgust also triggers an emotional response that helps us remember and avoid certain stimuli. Our brain sends signals to release stress hormones like cortisol, heightening our alertness and preparing us to take immediate action. This response is crucial for our survival, as it ensures we steer clear of potential dangers lurking in our environment.
Think about it: Disgust keeps us from ingesting spoiled food, drinking contaminated water, or getting too close to infectious materials. It's like an internal alarm system that alerts us to potential health hazards and keeps us safe from harm.
In modern times disgust has evolved to include social and ethical nightmares as well. And I’m not talking about stupid “icks” women use to dump guys they never respected in the first place. Things like running with a back pack on or pushing a pull door or chasing after a ping pong ball. I’m talking about when people actually do messed-up stuff, animal cruelty, unjust violence, or major moral violations that leave you feeling sick to your stomach.
Now, here's where the evolutionary adaptation comes into play. Over thousands of years, our ancestors who experienced disgust and avoided harmful substances had a higher chance of survival. They were less likely to fall ill or be poisoned, allowing them to pass on their genes and continue the lineage.
So, next time you cringe at the sight of something gross or feel that wave of nausea wash over you, remember that it's your body's way of protecting you. It's an amazing evolutionary adaptation that has been honed over countless generations.
Disgust may not always be the most pleasant sensation, but it serves a vital purpose. Embrace the power of your instincts, trust your gut (pun intended), and let disgust be your guide to a healthier, safer existence.
Happiness
When we experience happiness, our body goes through some amazing changes. One of the key players in this process is our brain, specifically the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. These little guys are like the champions of happiness, making us feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
When dopamine is released, it activates the reward pathways in our brain, giving us that pleasurable feeling. Serotonin, on the other hand, helps regulate our mood, making us feel content and satisfied. And let's not forget about endorphins, our natural painkillers, which are also released during moments of happiness, giving us a natural high.
Why do we have this physiological reaction to happiness? Throughout history, our ancestors faced countless challenges and threats to their survival. So, our brains evolved to reward us when we engage in behaviours that promote our welfare and increase our chances of survival.
You see, back in the day, when our ancestor’s found food, formed social connections, or achieved success, their brains released those happiness-inducing neurotransmitters. This not only motivated them to repeat those behaviours but also helped them remember what actions led to those positive outcomes. It's like a built-in reward system designed to keep us striving for success and fulfilment.
Nowadays, we may not be hunting for our next meal or running from predators (well, most of us at least), but our brain's wiring remains the same. We still seek out experiences and accomplishments that trigger those feel-good neurotransmitters. Whether it's accomplishing a goal, smashing a workout, or spending quality time with loved ones, these moments of happiness are reminders of our evolutionary drive to flourish.
Embrace those moments of happiness. They are not only a result of your hard work and achievements but also a testament to your biological programming. Your body and brain are working together to reward you and motivate you to keep pushing forward.
Bonus:
Check out this course which explains science of being happy: Science of wellbeing course: https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being?action=enroll
Anger
Anger is that fiery surge of energy that can make us feel powerful, but also has the potential to get us into trouble if not properly managed. It’s a part of our body's stress response system. When we perceive a threat or injustice, whether it's a physical danger or someone crossing our boundaries, our body activates the famous "fight or flight" response. Hormones like adrenaline and cortisol start pumping through our veins, preparing us for action. Our heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, and our muscles tense up, getting ready to defend ourselves.
Why would evolution wire us to get angry? Back in the day, whether it was competing for limited resources, defending their territory, or protecting their loved ones, anger provided them with a powerful surge of energy to fight off threats and ensure their survival.
Anger can also be seen as an adaptive response to perceived injustices. Our ancestors lived in communities where co-operation was essential for survival. When someone violated the social norms or crossed the line, anger would arise as a signal to assert boundaries, enforce fairness, and maintain social order.
However, in our modern world, anger can sometimes be triggered by less life-threatening situations. Road rage, disagreements at work, or even social media conflicts can provoke that familiar surge of anger. Our evolutionary adaptation hasn't caught up with the complexities of our society, so it's crucial to understand how to manage and channel our anger constructively.
So, how can we effectively deal with anger and prevent it from causing more harm than good? Well, recognising and acknowledging our anger is the first step. Understanding the triggers and underlying emotions are what will help us gain clarity on what's really going on. Taking deep breaths, finding healthy outlets for our anger such as physical exercise or creative expression, and practicing mindfulness can all be powerful tools to diffuse the intense energy of anger.
Anger, like all the other emotions is a natural part of being human, but it's up to us to harness its power in a positive way. By mastering our anger, we can avoid ruining our relationships, make better decisions, and create a safer world around us. There’s nothing more dangerous in our society than an angry, emotionally unstable man.
So, next time you feel that fiery surge of anger, take a moment to reflect on its evolutionary roots. Understand that you have the power to choose how you respond and transform that energy into something constructive.
Emotions Are Human
Emotions are powerful tools that have evolved within us for a reason. They're like the fuel that propels us into action, giving us the energy and motivation we need to tackle challenges head-on. Whether it's the rush of excitement when starting a new project or the surge of fear that keeps us safe from danger, emotions serve a vital purpose in our lives.
Think about it - when you see someone crying, your natural emotional response kicks in. It's like an internal alarm that tells you, "Hey, pay attention! Something important is happening here." It's a built-in mechanism that connects us to others and helps us navigate through the complexities of human interaction. That emotional response enables us to offer support and understand what might be causing their distress. Because let's face it, what affects them might affect us too.
Society loves to label emotions as "positive" or "negative," but in reality, every emotion has a purpose. They're not good or bad, they simply serve a function. It all comes down to how we harness and manage them. When emotions start to dominate our behaviour without control, that's when things can get messy. That's why emotional regulation is absolutely crucial and that’s why meditation is such a useful tool.
Regular meditation practice strengthens the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for executive functions like emotional regulation. By training yourself you observe your emotions with detachment, you become better equipped at recognising and regulating your emotions intentionally. You gain the ability to pause before reacting impulsively and choose a more considered and stoic response instead.
Trust me, I've been down emotional spirals before, and let me tell you, it's not a fun place to be. But here's the good news: understanding how and why we have emotions is the first step towards taking control. Second, knowing that emotions are a natural part of being human, and they can either work for you or against you depending on how you handle them. The third step is developing a daily meditation practice. Check out our guide on that here if your interested in finding out more.
So, my friend, embrace the power of your emotions. Use them as tools to propel you forward, to connect with others, and to navigate the ups and downs of life. But remember, you're the one in the driver's seat. Take charge, regulate those emotions, and steer them in a direction that serves your goals and the person you want to be.
Always remember, you were born to be the hero of your story.
Free your outlaw.