CHASING COMPETENCE OVER FEELING GOOD
Imagine a world where the pursuit of feeling good becomes the driving force behind everyone’s decisions. Where society dances to the tune of instant gratification. Every decision driven by the pursuit of pleasure, with no thought given to the consequences after the momentary high has passed.
People crave constant validation, seeking happiness in superficial places. Social media likes became the currency of self-worth, and comparison consumes their souls. Authenticity goes out the window as everyone crafts carefully curated personas, desperate to fit the mould of societal expectations.
In this world, genuine connections are uncommon. Relationships are transactional, shallow interactions with no depth and vulnerability. There’s no trust as everyone wears masks, afraid to reveal their true selves for fear of judgment and cancellation. This world sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
This is the world I see. The pursuit of happiness has become an excuse for stagnation and complacency. Personal growth is overshadowed by the pull of instant gratification, which will leave so much potential untapped and ambitions unrealised.
This trend, fuelled by the "self-esteem movement," has been extensively documented and studied for its influence on creating the abundance of mentally fragile people in existence today.
In the 1960s, as society emerged from the shadows of the Depression and World War, a new cultural idea took hold: the key to success and happiness was rooted in having a strong sense of self-esteem. The belief was that the more we felt good about ourselves, the further we would go in life.
However, the self-esteem movement failed to grasp a crucial aspect of true self-esteem—its connection to both feeling good and not being a loser. They mistakenly put feeling good as the starting point, neglecting the fact that genuine self-esteem is a by product of accomplishing meaningful goals and overcoming challenges. You need to be doing well in life to have good self esteem.
Studies have shown that low self-esteem is the consequence of negative behaviours and outcomes such as addiction or unemployment that lead a person to become a loser. It's essential to understand that feeling good alone does not lead to sustained success or resilience. Instead, resilience comes from doing difficult things that make you more competent.
By prioritising the pursuit of feeling good, we sacrifice being strong, mentally and physically. Bad days are always ahead. You might get cancer, a loved one might die, your girl might divorce you and leave you with nothing. You can’t avoid discomfort and failure no matter how hard you try.
Among the sea of smiling faces, there’re a few souls that question the shallowness of it all. That want substance and a life filled with meaning and purpose. They refuse to be slaves to their impulses, knowing that true fulfilment doesn’t come from chasing happiness.
In a world fixated on feeling good, these outlaws embark on a journey of self-discovery and resilience. They dare to delve into the depths of their emotions, good and bad, facing the darkness within and embracing the discomfort that comes with growth.
While the majority chase fleeting highs, these lawless individuals chose to nurture genuine contentment through gratitude. They understand that true happiness comes from embracing the entirety of the human experience—the highs and lows, the victories and failures. Afterall, this is what life is about. It is through facing challenges head-on that you uncover your inner strength.
TAKING ACTION
Are you tired of feeling like you're just waiting for your turn to win?
Are you fed up with being another replaceable cog in a machine?
Do you find yourself obsessively checking your messages, desperately waiting for that one notification that will magically transform your life?
Well, it's time to stop relying on others to determine your fate. It's time to take control of your own life and become the hero of your story. You have the power within you to shape your destiny and create the life you want. You just need to develop the resilience that will allow you to consistently put in the effort you need to succeed until it becomes impossible to fail. It’s impossible for me to fail because it’s not an option. I won’t stop until I get what I want. This is mindset of resilient people. This is the mindset of outlaws.
Imagine your life as an orchestra, but each instrument is playing a different tune. The result? Garbage music. You can’t look like an adonis if you’re eating doughnuts everyday. You can’t start a successful business and then spend most of your free time playing video games and beating your meat to porn. You need to step up as the conductor, bringing all the elements of your life together in harmony. Aligning your actions, thoughts, and goals to create something of real value.
Start by identifying the areas of your life that you’re not happy with. Make a list and choose one problem to focus on. Take charge and devise a concrete plan of action. Sit down with a notebook and don't get up until you've figured out a solution and a few actionable steps to tackle the problem head-on. And most importantly, follow through with your plan without making excuses. I break this down in real detail HERE so check that out if you’re interested in sorting your life out.
When you find yourself in a situation where you can't change the external circumstances, shift your focus to changing your reaction to it. Never let other people dictate how you feel. Outlaws take charge of their emotions and decide how they want to respond. This ability to control your own emotional state is one of the most empowering and satisfying achievements in life.
Once you successfully tackle one problem, your sense of control over your own life will strengthen, and your resilience will grow. That’s 1 rep in training your resilience. It’s a practice, same as with most things in life. The more reps you complete the more evidence you’re stacking in favour of being a man of worth.
Remember, your life is not set in stone. It's flexible and mouldable. You’re capable of becoming whatever you want it to be. But here's the truth: there are no easy fixes or shortcuts. The solution lies in being proactive, taking action instead of waiting for things to happen. So, my outlaws, go out there and take charge. Go and do, your life is waiting for you to seize it.
Always remember, you were born to be the hero of your story.
Free your outlaw.