MASLOW’S HIERARACHY OF NEEDS
For anyone who doesn’t know about Maslow's hierarchy of needs, it’s a model for understanding the motivations behind human behaviour. There're 5 levels to this and I’ll run through them below.
Level 1: Physical Needs
These are the fundamentals. The basic things we need for survival that we must tick off first before we can think about achieving more complex and aspirational needs in life. These needs include our bodily requirements like food and water as well as shelter and clothing. This where most people in third world countries live, just struggling to put food on the table everyday.
Level 2: Safety
Once you have level 1 down you need to be able to protect those basic privileges. Essentially our safety needs are about getting to a point where we feel like we can maintain our physical needs long-term. You no longer need to worry about putting food on the table and keeping a roof over your head.
Level 3: Social Belonging
Us humans are social animals and the need for social belonging exists in all of us... unless you're a psychopath. The pursuit of things like family relationships, friendships, community and the sense of acceptance and belonging is so important to our survival. The strength of your life massively depends on the strength of your relationships. It's common knowledge that the worst thing you can do to a human (unless they're a psychopath) is put them in solitary confinement.
Level 4: Self-esteem / Self respect
After attaining our need for social belonging and acceptance, the next step is to focus on ourselves and our self-esteem. These needs are all about satisfying the ego and being valued. At the lower level, individuals seek to achieve status, respect and recognition from others. At the higher level, they seek these things from themselves.
Level 5: Reaching your final form
The final and ultimate need is feeling like we're fulfilling our potential and making the most of our abilities. In many ways this is very similar to Aristotle's concept of eudaimonia, which loosely translates as fulfilling your true nature. Our calling. Getting to the end of your life knowing you became who you were capable of becoming.
Now I think most people in western society are at level 3 or 4 and whilst these needs are important, they're aren't life or death. The level 1 needs are life or death. If you go too long without food you'll die. When the stakes are that high it's easy to find meaning and purpose for your life. I always wondered why the homeless man in Cabinda didn’t just kill himself when he was already so close to dying. It’s the urgency of survival, it’s life's greatest motivator.
Surviving long enough to bear children and pass on your genes is our main purpose on a biological level. When you're comfortable in life and worrying about being loved and worthy to others, there's no immediate threat of danger. These are mental issues that cause mental pain which doesn’t tap into our innate instinct for self-preservation.
It’s through facing physical challenges that directly threaten our survival that we develop our heightened appreciation for life. The urgency and instinctive drive to overcome physical obstacles reinforce the value we attach to our existence.
THE SELF-WORTH CRISIS
Now let me run through a study that delved into the reasons behind the alarming rates of male suicide, researchers analysed a vast number of suicide notes. They discovered that two words kept appearing throughout, echoing the deep pain felt by these individuals: useless and worthless. This is the hole many men are struggling to plug in modern society.
One major factor contributing to this feeling of despair is the absence of positive male role models who can teach fundamental life skills. These are the qualities that can make a massive difference in a person's sense of self-worth.
Resilience, for instance, is something that grows when we push ourselves beyond our comfort zones and embrace challenging experiences. It's through these difficult moments that we discover our inner strength and learn to bounce back stronger than before.
Courage, too, is nurtured by facing our fears head-on and taking on the things that scare us. By mustering the determination to confront our anxieties, we’ll see that behind our fears is just empty space. When you learn to overcome fear, you become unstoppable as fear is what holds so many back from going for the things they want.
Confidence, another crucial trait, is built by continuously adding value to ourselves and becoming capable in various areas. It's through acquiring new skills and developing competence that we cultivate a sense of self-assurance and belief in our abilities.
These invaluable qualities are things I've personally had to teach myself through trial and error. I embarked on a journey of self-improvement, actively seeking out experiences that would help me improve. Whether it was pushing my physical limits in the gym, learning a new language in Portuguese, or conquering my fear of water by learning to swim, I always sought out opportunities that challenged me.
Through these actions, I've discovered that overcoming feelings of worthlessness lies in actively pursuing experiences that allow us to develop resilience, courage, and confidence. It's a journey that requires commitment and perseverance, but the alternative is being a victim so what do you have to lose? By taking these steps, we can rewrite the narrative of our lives, it’s never too late to be better.
Always remember, you were born to be the hero of your story.
Free your outlaw.