Epictetus stoic bars: “It is more necessary for the soul to be cured than the body, for it is better to die than to live badly” (Fragments, 32)
The ancient Greeks and Romans thought of philosophy as a type of psychological therapy, a form of talking therapy, or medicine for the mind. During the era of the Stoics, philosophy was accessible to all social classes, and was more important than ever in the daily lives of the average person. It was more than wishy washy wisdom for the intellectuals as I originally thought, Stoicism was in fact practical, applicable, and effective. It was so useful that many of its core concepts are still in use today.
Whilst stoicism survived for five centuries, it wasn’t until the 20th century that it started being recognised for its therapeutic benefits. Many of our problems today are caused by negative self-talk or autosuggestions, opening the door for a more rational approach to psychotherapy.
Albert Ellis is responsible for bringing stoicism into the mainstream through his writings and the development of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT).
Ellis's revolutionary idea challenged the commonly held belief that external events are the root cause of our emotional troubles. Instead, he proposed that it is our irrational beliefs about these events that truly cause us pain. This powerful principle, the core of cognitive therapy, can be traced back to the ancient stoic philosophers who paved the way for this new perspective.
Epictetus, one of the Stoic heavyweights once wrote: "Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views which they take of them." External circumstances aren’t to blame but our own judgments and perceptions about them that are to blame.
Marcus Aurelius, the O.G, further reinforces this idea when he reminds us that our pain and disturbance are not caused by the external world but by our own judgments about it. And here's the message: we don’t have any power over the external world but we do have the power to change our judgments.
Changing irrational and unhealthy beliefs about things is a better strategy for success than suppressing our automatic thoughts. It's about challenging the beliefs and views that hold us back and wreak havoc with our emotions.
AUTO-SUGGESTIONS
"I AM terrible at everything": This negative self-talk is like a broken record that keeps telling you that you're no good at anything, making you doubt your abilities and feel down.
"I NEVER get things right": This little voice in your head loves to remind you of your past mistakes, making you think you're destined to mess things up every time.
"I WILL never find someone who loves me": This negative thought likes to rain on your parade and make you believe that true love is a lost cause, leaving you feeling lonely and hopeless.
"I AM a total failure": This nagging thought makes you think that success is out of reach, leaving you feeling unmotivated and afraid to even try.
"I AM so dumb": This self-deprecating thought convinces you that you're not smart enough, holding you back from learning and growing.
"I WIL never be able to do it": This negative belief keeps whispering in your ear that you're incapable of achieving your goals, making you doubt your potential and keeping you stuck in your comfort zone.
"I WILL never overcome my problems": This persistent thought makes you feel like you're trapped in a never-ending struggle, making it hard to find the strength and determination to overcome challenges.
If you’ve ever used phrases like the ones above, you’ve used auto suggestions before. Auto-suggestion is the easiest way to reprogramme our subconscious mind. The subconscious is the part of our minds that makes decisions without us needing to actively think about them. We’ve all used auto-suggestion at some point in our lives. It’s an instinctive way to communicate with our minds. The problem is when we use auto-suggestion to focus on negative things rather than positive ones.
Example: “I am tired”, “I am useless”, “I am stupid” neither of these things benefit you and will only result in you feeling that way.
“The power of life and death lies in the tongue”. – more bars from some ancient text
Words are powerful. Especially when you start a sentence with things like “I am”, “I will”, “I can’t”, they can either build you up or destroy you. If you think you are stupid, you will act stupid. But if you embrace the idea that you're intelligent and confident, that belief will shine through in your behaviour and body language. You become what you think. Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.
When someone tells me they can’t do something I believe them.
When someone tells me they can do something I believe them.
The only difference between someone who is successful and someone who isn’t, is the successful person believed in himself. When someone believes they can do something, they figure out how to do it. They might not figure it out straight away. They might fail hundreds of times. But they will figure it out in the end, because failure isn’t an option to these people, and that’s all that matters.
So, here's the secret: if you want to harness the power of auto-suggestion to your advantage, start reinforcing positive ideas about yourself instead of dwelling on the negative ones. The more you do this, the deeper those positive thoughts will embed themselves in your subconscious mind. And before you know it, you'll be behaving in ways that benefit you without even consciously thinking about it.
AUTO-SUGGESTION TECHNIQUES
- Delete negative thoughts: Start paying attention to your self-talk. Whenever you catch yourself being a dick to yourself, or spouting internal dialogue that expresses fear, doubt, or self-hate, delete or erase it. Then replace it with more encouraging positive words. You’ve got enough haters in the world, why add to it? I don’t allow myself to indulge in any limiting beliefs, and when I catch myself doing it, I challenge the thought. Does this idea serve me or benefit me, if it doesn’t, I discard it, thoughts are designed to die so we don’t have to. This process takes practice but becomes easier with time. What’s one recurring negative thought you can delete today?
- Use affirmation: Positive affirmations are more than just dumb feel-good quotes and positive statements. I used affirmations to train my mind “to lean into fear & do whatever scared me”. I repeated this every morning for over a year & naturally I began subconsciously seeking out opportunities to overcome my fears. This has led me to starting my own personal brand, overcoming my fear of drowning by learning how to swim and going on a solo trip to Lisbon to practice speaking Portuguese. Your mind is like a muscle that needs to be trained and strengthened. This is why affirmations can be an important part of your daily routine. Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself on a regular basis to help reprogram your subconscious mind and align your thoughts with your goals and desires. These affirmations serve as a powerful reminder of who you want to be, what you want to achieve. What are positive habits or values you want to reinforce and develop?
- Use repetition: For new ideas to set in, repetition is necessary. The same as when you’re training or learning anything new you need to drill it into your mind over and over again until it becomes second nature. I repeat my affirmations first thing in the morning after meditating but it can be done in the shower or on your commute. Whenever makes the most sense for you really.
- Use emotions: In order to make anything stick, it must trigger feelings. The more meaningful the auto-suggestion is to you, the more effective it is. One of my auto-suggestions is to be a man of my word, I’ve been let down by people close to me in the past & it hurts. I use that pain. I don’t want to inflict the same pain on anyone else as a result. So, no matter how small, I do what I say.
Common examples are below.
"I WILL achieve great things": This positive affirmation reminds you of your potential and encourages you to believe in your abilities, fuelling your motivation and determination.
"I AM in control of my own happiness": This belief empowers you to take charge of your emotions and find happiness within yourself, rather than relying on external circumstances.
"I ALWAYS embrace challenges as opportunities for growth": This positive autosuggestion encourages you to view challenges as valuable learning experiences and helps you develop a growth mindset.
"I AM resilient and can overcome any obstacle": This autosuggestion reminds you of your inner strength and resilience, giving you the confidence to face and overcome difficulties.
"I AM grateful for the things in my life": This positive affirmation cultivates a mindset of gratitude, helping you appreciate the blessings and positive aspects of your life.
In conclusion, Stoicism offers us a profound perspective on therapy and the power of self-talk through auto-suggestions. It's not about eliminating negative thoughts entirely but learning to respond to them with wisdom and reason. As Stoic philosophers would say, it's not the events that shape us, but our interpretations and responses to them.
Take action. Practice the techniques above and engage in positive auto-suggestions. With each passing day, you will see that you have the power to not be bothered by every little thing that doesn't go "your" way. You can operate from a place of inner peace, but it starts with reprogramming your brain and this is how you do it.
Always remember, you were born to be the hero of your story.
Free your outlaw.