WHEN STOIC PRINCIPLES MEETS CBT

STOICS TOOLS

The following list is not comprehensive but merges the uncompromising principles of Stoic philosophy with the cutting-edge techniques of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). This is a list where ancient wisdom meets modern science, and where average individuals transform into above average beings. Learn to use these Stoic tools wisely and they will empower you to conquer your emotions, conquer your life, and emerge as the stoic guy that’s always cool and calm under pressure:

1. Socratic Questioning: This is about questioning our own assumptions and beliefs to uncover contradictions and irrational thinking. Just like Socrates did, we can challenge our own thoughts and beliefs with compassionate self-reflection. For example, if we feel angry about something, we can ask ourselves why we're really feeling that way and whether our reaction is based on rational thinking or some sort of trauma from our childhood that we’ve never dealt with.
2. The Dichotomy of Control: This principle reminds us to focus on what is within our control and let go of what is not. We take responsibility for our own actions and choices while accepting that external circumstances are beyond our control. For instance, instead of stressing about being stuck in traffic, we can focus on how we react. We can choose to see it as an opportunity to practice remaining calm and patient.
3. Separating Judgments from Events: Stoics believe that it's not events themselves that upset us, but rather our judgments about them. We can practice this by intentionally recognising that our it’s interpretations of situations that shape our emotional responses not the situations themselves. By reframing our judgments, we can approach challenges with a more rational and balanced perspective.
4. Stoic Acceptance and Indifference: This concept refers to cultivating a state of calm acceptance and freedom from irrational desires. It's not about apathy or disengagement, but rather developing resilience and inner peace by not attaching strong emotions or values to external events. We can practice this by accepting things that are beyond our control and focusing on what truly matters to us.

5. Contrasting Consequences: This practice involves imagining the potential outcomes and consequences of different actions before making a decision. For example, if you're feeling angry and tempted to lash out at someone, you can pause and consider the consequences of your actions. By comparing the negative outcomes of acting on anger versus responding calmly and rationally, you will hopefully make a wiser choice.
6. Postponement of Responses: When strong emotions like anger or unhealthy desires arise, the Stoic practice is to delay taking action until those emotions have subsided. Instead of reacting impulsively, give yourself time to calm down and gain clarity. This approach is similar to techniques used in anger management or worry postponement, allowing you to respond thoughtfully rather than being driven by intense emotions in the heat of the moment.
7. Contemplation of the Sage: Stoics would reflect on the virtues and behaviours of wise individuals, either real or imagined, to inspire and guide their own actions. You can apply this by identifying role models or mentors who embody qualities you admire. When facing challenges, ask yourself how they would handle the situation and strive to align your actions with their wisdom and virtue. For me this person is an 80 year-old version of myself. Whenever I need guidance I always imagine how old me would want be to act or behave and normally it works out well.
8. Contemplation of Death: Stoics believed that thinking about our mortality helps us gain perspective and live more purposefully. By acknowledging the short-lived nature of life, we can focus on what truly matters and make the most of our time. Reflecting on death can inspire gratitude, encourage us to prioritise meaningful relationships, and motivate us to live in accordance with our values.
9. The View from Above: Imagine looking down on events from a high vantage point or considering them in cosmic terms. This helps us gain perspective and see things in a broader context, reducing the intensity of our desires and emotions. For example, if you're feeling upset about a small setback at work, try imagining how insignificant it might appear in 10 years time. This can help you not to get too caught up in the moment.
10. Contemplating Transience: Reflect on the temporary nature of all things, including our own lives and the lives of others. This practice helps us appreciate the impermanence of situations and emotions, allowing us to let go of attachment to things, moments and people which nurtures peace of mind. When faced with a difficult situation or loss, remind yourself that everything is subject to change and whatever it is you’re experiencing will pass with time. Change is guaranteed and time is the best healer.
11. Contemplation of the Here and Now: Focus your attention on the present moment. The Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius emphasised this practice in his book "Meditations." By directing our focus to the present, we can find a sense of control and avoid being overwhelmed by worries about the past or future. Engage fully in the task at hand, whether it's work, spending time with loved ones, or pursuing a hobby. The only thing we can control is what we do in the here and now.
12. Objective Representation: Describe events in a neutral and objective manner, avoiding strong value judgments and emotional language. This practice, similar to the cognitive-behavioural therapy technique of decatastrophising, helps us see situations more rationally and avoid catastrophising or exaggerating their significance. For example, if you make a mistake, instead of beating yourself up and saying, "I'm a complete failure who will never get anything right," reframe it objectively by acknowledging the mistake and telling yourself, "I made an error, and I can learn from it." The language we use is important and when we use exaggerated words and blow things out of proportion, we make our problems seem harder to solve. Using low key language to describe negative situations makes them easier to overcome.
13. Premeditation of Adversity: This Stoic exercise involves regularly imagining and mentally rehearsing feared situations that could potentially happen to us, such as losing everything or experiencing serious illness. By mentally preparing ourselves for these adversities, we can develop a more philosophical mindset and learn to face them with resilience and composure. This practice aligns with strategies used in cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) and stress inoculation training.
14. Memorisation of Sayings: Stoics would learn and memorise wise sayings or teachings that captured important life lessons and principles. These sayings would be readily available in challenging situations, serving as reminders to stay grounded, focused, and resilient. Similar to coping statements in CBT, these memorised sayings can provide guidance, comfort, and perspective during difficult times. We’ve listed a bunch below in the bonus section.
15. Empathic Understanding: Stoics emphasised the importance of seeking to understand others in a rational and balanced manner. Rather than jumping to quick judgments or assumptions about someone's actions, they would try to put themselves in the other person's shoes and consider their perspective, values, and motivations. This practice cultivates empathy, compassion, and a more nuanced understanding of human behaviour, reflecting the Stoic belief that no person willingly does evil. Remember, if you were them and had all the experiences that shaped who they are now, you’d probably act in the exact same way that they do.
16. Contemplating Determinism: Stoics recognised that certain events and actions are beyond our control. They encouraged individuals to contemplate the concept of determinism, understanding that there will always be people who act dishonestly or harmfully in the world. Despite this, everything in the universe happens for a reason and follows a plan. Our actions and the events around us are connected and influenced by what came before. It means that some things are bound to happen that suck and are not within our control. By depersonalising and accepting these realities, Stoics aimed to maintain inner tranquillity, avoiding unnecessary surprise or disappointment. This contemplation aligns with Stoic philosophy and can help us navigate life's ups and downs with a sense of levelheadedness.

Incorporating Stoic tools linked to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can massively help you develop the mindset of a winner. To apply these principles to your life, start by recognising and reframing any negative thoughts as and when they crop up.

Look for opportunities not to judge situations and challenge irrational beliefs using CBT techniques like Socratic questioning. Develop acceptance by embracing the Stoic concept of the dichotomy of control, focusing on what you can influence rather than what is beyond your control. Engage in premeditation of adversity, mentally rehearsing challenging situations and envisioning yourself responding with resilience.

Utilise coping statements and affirmations inspired by Stoic teachings as reminders of rational thinking during difficult moments. Engage in self-reflection through journaling. By combining Stoic wisdom with CBT strategies, you can develop a rational and balanced mindset, regulate your emotions effectively. Consistency and practice are vital for incorporating these tools into your daily life and experiencing their transformative effects.

BONUS: Memorisation of Sayings

• "Amor Fati" - Love your fate. Embrace whatever comes your way, for it is an opportunity for growth and learning.
• "Memento Mori" - Remember, you are mortal. This serves as a reminder to seize the present moment and live with purpose.
• "The obstacle is the way." - See challenges as opportunities for development and transformation.
• "Control what you can, accept what you can't." - Focus your energy on what is within your control and let go of the rest.
• "Choose not to be harmed, and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed, and you haven't been." - Understand that it is not the events themselves but your perception and reaction to them that determine their impact on you.
• "This too shall pass." - Remind yourself that difficult times are temporary and that you have the strength to endure them.
• "No man is free who is not master of himself." - True freedom comes from mastering your own thoughts, emotions, and actions.
• "The best revenge is not to be like your enemy." - Rise above negativity and choose to represent honour even in the face of adversity.
• "Live according to nature." - Align your actions and thoughts with the natural order of the universe, embracing simplicity and harmony.
• "The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." - Emphasise the importance of cultivating positive and constructive thoughts.
• "Character is destiny." - Remember that your actions and choices shape your character and ultimately determine your path in life.
• "Live each day as if it were your last." - Emphasise the significance of making the most of each moment and appreciating the present.
• "The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." - Highlight the power of your thoughts in shaping your perception of reality.
• "Patience is a virtue." - Remind yourself of the importance of patience in navigating challenges and setbacks.
• "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." – Don’t be a dick because everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.
• "The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it." - Embrace challenges as opportunities to become a better version of yourself.
• "Seek virtue, not riches or fame." - Prioritise the development of moral qualities and inner goodness over external achievements.

By embarking on this journey through the powerful combination of Stoicism and Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT), you have taken a significant step towards becoming then type of man that takes everything in his stride.

Throughout this guide, we have explored the wisdom of the ancient Stoics and the practical techniques of modern psychology. We have delved into the depths of our emotions, challenged our limiting beliefs, and discovered the transformative power of self-awareness and rational thinking. And now, armed with these tools, you are ready to start sharpening your emotional resilience by putting them into practice.

Stoicism teaches us that we have control over our internal responses, even in the face of external circumstances beyond our control. By adopting the Stoic mindset, you can rise above the chaos of life and develop an unshakable inner fortress.

Remember, it is not the events themselves that shape our lives, but rather our perception and response to them. By practicing Stoic principles such as negative visualisation, premeditation of adversity, and acceptance of determinism, you will gain clarity and find peace amidst the storms.

But Stoicism alone is not enough. The integration of CBT into our journey adds another dimension, allowing us to identify and challenge the distorted thoughts and beliefs that often sabotage our masculinity through emotional instability.

Through CBT, we learn to reframe our negative thinking patterns, develop healthier coping strategies, and cultivate a more balanced and empowering mindset. As we dismantle our self-limiting beliefs and replace them with constructive ones, we pave the way for personal growth, enhanced relationships, and the unleashing of our true potential.

Remember, you have the power to become the hero of your own story. Every decision you make, every thought you choose, and every action you take shapes the narrative of your life. Embrace your journey with courage, resilience, and a steadfast commitment to your own growth.

When you stumble, as heroes often do, remember that setbacks are not failures but opportunities for growth. Persevere through the trials, and you will emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever before.

May your journey be filled with self-discovery, inner strength, and the unwavering belief that you are the hero of your own story.

BONUS: Now, here's an interesting fact: despite its prominence in ancient Greece and Rome for over five hundred years, less than one percent of the ancient Stoic writings have survived the test of time. It's like we have tiny fragments of a giant puzzle, scattered pieces that offer glimpses into the brilliance of these ancient thinkers. Among these fragments, three O.G figures stand out from the Roman Stoic tradition: Seneca the Younger, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius (The O.G).

These great individuals, with their unique perspectives and wisdom, provide us with priceless insights into the essence of Stoicism.

If you want to check out the O.G stoics published works there are three major surviving sources of Stoic literature:

• The Discourses of Epictetus are transcripts of his discussions with groups of students at his philosophical school, where he can be seen answering questions and also employing Socratic questioning, in a way that could be compared to group therapy or a self-help workshop.
• The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius are a private record of his own contemplative practices, like a Stoic self-help or therapy journal.
• The letters of Seneca show him offering advice and support to others. Many are addressed to a novice Stoic (Lucilius). Here Seneca is acting in a manner comparable to an individual therapist or life coach.